Robin W., Alcoholic

Note: This is the first time I’ve written about something outside my own personal experience, but it’s been on my mind enough that I felt moved to.

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When Amy Winehouse’s body was found with a blood alcohol content of .4% (five times the DUI level), lying among scattered vodka bottles like so many smoking guns, most of the media and public understood that her death was caused by alcoholism.

Not so with the loss of Robin Williams – also caused by alcoholism, but in a much subtler sense.  The press does note that he had checked into rehab a few weeks prior, but his prolonged suspension of active drinking causes them to dismiss his addiction as conquered.  It seems to me only my fellow alcoholics are able to intuit the close relationship between his alcoholism, depression, and the unbearableness of being that led him to take his life.

Williams was very open about his 2003 relapse after 20 years’ sobriety.  He told Parade:Screen Shot 2014-08-13 at 3.06.06 PM

“One day I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel’s. And then that voice — I call it the ‘lower power’ — goes, ‘Hey. Just a taste. Just one.’ I drank it, and there was that brief moment of ‘Oh, I’m okay!’ But it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street. I knew it was really bad one Thanksgiving when I was so drunk they had to take me upstairs.”

A Guardian reporter asked if friend Christopher Reeves’ death was what triggered his relapse.

“No,” he says quietly, “it’s more selfish than that. It’s just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn’t.” What was he afraid of? “Everything. It’s just a general all-round arggghhh. It’s fearfulness and anxiety.”

He added, about the demise of his second marriage in 2008, years after he’d managed to get sober again:

“You know, I was shameful, and you do stuff that causes disgust, and that’s hard to recover from. You can say, ‘I forgive you’ and all that stuff, but it’s not the same as recovering from it. It’s not coming back.”

If you’re an alcoholic, you don’t just read these words; you identify with them because you’ve lived them.  You know that wheedling voice of the “lower power,” that all-pervading fear of existence, and the burden of shame Williams describes.  And if you’re like me, you feel tremendous empathy for this man, who had recognized his depression as a spiritual malady linked to his alcoholic disease and had tried his best to combat it by strengthening his spiritual connection in treatment.

According to the press, over the previous year Williams had been shooting movies and shows back to back, maintaining a “manic pace.”  To me, this frenzy of activity seems a way of trying desperately to live, to stay engaged in life.  My friend Dave McC  fought depression in a similar way in the year before his suicide, hiking the Cascade Mountains at a furious pace.  But the disease catches up.  It gets to us when we’re alone, worming into that inmost chamber of self where no one can reach us – except god.  What most pains me and frightens me about Williams’ death is that he knew the solution.  He had a program.  He was trying to help himself.  And yet for reasons we’ll never know, he could not access that “Power which pulls [us] back from the gates of death.”

So often, I want to think of sobriety as a set equation rather than a blessing.  That is, I want to believe that if you take certain actions, working the three sides of the triangle by going to meetings, working with a sponsor, and doing service work, then you’re guaranteed a certain result: lasting sobriety.  Williams’ death reminds me that’s anything but the case.  In fact, it’s all grace.  We’re guaranteed nothing.  We’re never home free – not even with twenty years’ sobriety and all the talent, intelligence, and accomplishment a person could ask for.

Rather, the fact that I – an alcoholic child of alcoholic children going back many, many diseased generations – write this with 19 years and 7 months’ sobriety is nothing short of miraculous.  The fact that you’re reading it with however many days or years you have sober – you, who are also hardwired to drink – is likewise a miracle.  Every day that we live in the light of sanity and sobriety is a gift.  It’s another day we can be grateful not to find ourselves in that tortuous nightmare of spiritually starving depression that led Williams – knowing alcohol and drugs would not help him – to choose the one-way exit of suicide.

From a broader perspective as an Near Death Experience survivor, I do believe Williams found not only relief but bliss in leaving his body.  For whatever reason, though, we are born into these earthly lives with a sense of mission to carry them out, and a love for the material world that anchors us here for their duration.  I’d like to live out mine, certainly.  But my sobriety, my faith in a higher power, directions to love and honor others through kindness and service, and the happiness I’ve been granted by pursuing this path all unite to remind me I am never in charge.  Certainly, I’m not in charge of my sobriety.  I can take the steps I know to nurture it, but the results are out of my hands.

In the end, the loss of this talented, accomplished man who could no longer stand his life reminds me to be grateful for today.  I don’t have a lot of  the stuff our culture equates with success.  But no gifts are more precious than sanity, sobriety, peace of mind, and the strength they grant me to love others freely.

 

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308 Comments

Filed under AA, Alcoholism, Recovery, sober, Sobriety, Spirituality

308 responses to “Robin W., Alcoholic

  1. Thank you for this. I can certainly relate in so many ways, not only to your article, but many of the comments as well.

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    • You know what is says in the book… Its Spiritual…… King Alcohol….
      I saw What Dreams May Come, again..

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      • robby

        coming up on 30 years in AA………..stopped going to bars in 79 (bar drinker–only). still wicked afraid of the stuff. wish You strength.robby

        Like

    • Anonymous

      I’ve managed by the grace of God to stay sober a little over 3 years after about 8 years in and out of meetings and rehabs, without out every gaining more than a few months of sobriety (and never having any true sobriety) just hating life and white-knuckling it. The last 3 years have been the best of my life. Less than a week ago, I found out my long-term girlfriend has been “talking” to someone else. I’ve recently moved in with her, we got a puppy, and were really starting to build a life with each other. This situation sent me into the deepest depression I had been in in quite some time. It went so far as to actually purchasing some booze and pacing around my apartment complex for hours contemplating whether to take that drink or not. I have not been working a program recently, but by a miracle, I picked up the phone and called a friend who (although we didn’t not discuss drinking) just lended an ear about the whole situation. I threw the booze away, but am terrified of just how close I came. Whenever in life I face an obstacle that seems insurmountable, my instinct is to self-medicate. From F.E.A.R (F everything and run). I got through that horrible day without taking a drink, and in my current state of mind am able to move forward by taking positive solutions to the problem, rather than causing more for myself. I can relate to this article on so many levels, and there are so many of us out there who share the same struggles. We are never alone, and somebody else has always got it worse than me.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Anonymous

      It’s “the gates of insanity or death” please, if you are going to quote the Big Book, do it correctly.

      Like

  2. Claire

    My understanding is that Robin Williams had recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease prior to his death and that may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Your words are so true for so many, thank you for sharing them.

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    • Anonymous

      they thought it was parkinsons but found it to be demetia with lewy bodies. This can only be diagnosed after death and autopsy

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      • Penny

        Lewybody Disease is NOT pretty! It is often, in early stages, misdiagnosed as Parkinson’s Disease.

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      • Anonymous

        Lewy Body Disease often accompanies Parkinson’s. My uncle suffered from both. It wasn’t a pleasant way for him to go… and it was just as hard on us, his caregivers.

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  3. Lovely piece, very meaningful. Like that ‘lower power’ concept – first time I’ve met that lower power in fact but I know exactly what you mean and identify with it. Thank you.

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  4. Terri Pritchard

    I’m recovering today 29 years and 3 months. I loved Robin Williams because he gave all of himself to us. Therein lies the rub, I think there was nothing left for him. I mourn him and my lovely incredible husband Bill Pritchard, gone 8 years and 7 days. I think of just going away. To be with Bill and my parents and Johnny Segal and Alex Kappas and so many others. But I don’t want to cause others pain. I don’t think there wasn’t a connection with God, for Robin, I think he was tired and I underdstand that and he was given a diagnosis of Parkinson’s and it was just too much. Anyone who hasn’t suffered depression has pat answers about suicide. Do you understand that going on is too painful.No he wasn’t thinking of his wife or his kids, his pain was so overwhelming he saw no other way out. If you think about Robin or talk about him. Remember all he gave us, please

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those people that you don’t want to cause pain, don’t want you to be alone with your own pain, either, Terri. I can sympathize – I have been depressed, and I can see that you’re in a bad way. Please do tell your loved ones how you feel; that you find yourself thinking of suicide, and that you need their help. We all need help now and then.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jules is so right. I understand you love many who have passed, but that powerful love of yours can help you find sweetness in this life again if you turn it toward the living. I DON’T have pat answers, god knows, and I DO know the pain is staggering – but I’m praying for you, Terri, that you find a way to reach out of the darkness and let others know how you’re feeling.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Pam P

      What a beautiful article. By his grace 12 years 8 months and 27 days. I have been where he was where I thought the only way out was to die. I don’t know why some of us get it and some of us don’t. I don’t know why I drank after almost 11 years other than I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober at that moment. Robin didn’t die in vain. His death brought awareness to depression and suicide. Your article has brought some light to the horrors of alcoholism. When one of us dies from this disease it’s up to the rest of us to tell their story so maybe one person is saved. You just told his. I tell my son’s. This is how we keep going. A day at a time.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Anonymous

      Dear Terri. Length of sobriety doesn’t mean any one of us is immune from pain or depression. I agree with Jules Pratt that you need to tell someone how you are feeling, but I also realize that that is sometimes easier said than done. Hang in there and know that God loves you, and so do I. People like me need you in our sober world.

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  5. All I can say is “Wow”. I’ve been there before and it is a struggle. I’m not done on this place called Earth yet…have much to do.

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  6. Bo

    Thank you for this wonderfully written piece. I, too, come from generations of alcoholics and swore when I left home at 18 to get away from that environment that I would never become what my father was. Even though then I was deep into drugs, and had my own burgeoning alcohol issues. Now, at 54, it is still a constant, daily battle of the “lower power” that lies to me, and my higher power that keeps me here in this life. Prescription meds are the current lower power, and I understand the feelings of utter worthlessness that Robin had spoken of before. I often wonder just how far I’ll go on the timeline, dying of old age never has seemed like a possibility. Thank you again for sharing this, you’ve given me hope and more to think about.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Chelsea S

    Work the steps or die. It’s not “go to meetings” recovery, it’s not “do service” recovery, it’s TWELVE STEP RECOVERY. As in, if you don’t work the steps, you’re not in recovery. And alcoholics and addicts who aren’t in recovery end up in jails, institutionalized, or dead. Ours is a deadly disease.

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    • Keep doing whatever is working in your life to keep you away from the first drink. I have been sober for 28 years (so far) without a “Higher Power” and without doing any steps. I do not tell people they have to recover by taking my road. I share my experience in meetings. I do not preach. Life is good. Good luck to you.

      Like

  8. Anonymous

    For today, I am grateful for caring, loving people. For today, I choose to keep a cork in it !

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  9. Anonymous

    my sobriety date is 1/21/87 I’am 1 drink away from a total out of control drunk.I pray that I never lose this reality.Robin W. and I are so so much a like. I always knew if we were ever to met that we would be great friends.We could laugh and cry together.Feel each others pain and fears.I miss the man I never met.I hope we will meet again.

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  10. Lara Allen

    I really like this article and I can relate to the lower power so much but I also find it depressing and I can’t help but wonder if Robin W. Was really engaged in all three parts of the solution…meetings, working with a sponsor and helping others?? It seems to me that is what keeps the fear and shame at bay…and it gives one a sense of purpose and connectedness with which one does not seek to end ones life…

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    • Sorry it seems depressing! 🙂 We’re screwed w/o god or whatever we want to call it, though – it’s true. A new friend who reached out to me via this blog put it this way:
      “Removing alcohol from the equation does not fix us. Having a program of recovery doesn’t fix us. Only the Light that shines in and wipes out the darkness saves us. But depression kills so many of us because we can’t always access the Light even though we know it exists. It is by grace that I am sober today. Period.”
      The two diseases can team up and block us.

      Also, re all three parts: sponsoring others is SO important to lasting recovery – at least for me. Robin gave so much of himself to the world, but I doubt his career let him work one-to-one with fellow alcoholics. It’s through my compassion for others that god stirs in me.

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  11. Jo Gordon

    Sad to believe that anyone can think alcoholism can be conquered or dismissed alcoholism is a disease that stays with us our entire life and untreated we will die.

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  12. Joy

    Joy , Imy sobriety date is 5-17-85 the longer I am sober the more I understand and don’t understand about God’s grace.I do not know why I receive this gift and so many others do not .I am certain that I am not special and yet I am.I am because we all are.I live with a beautiful alcoholic who after nineteen years is now drinking.He is no less spiritually grown than me or many sober alcoholics that I know .He is kind and loving drunk or sober .A more sensitive person I have never known .I don’t know what his journey is but I know he is traveling it the best he can. I have come to know that I must live this life by following the light along the way.life isn’t easy but most of the time it is joyful.In a day I can be asking my parent, my Heavenly parent to take me home because I don’t fit here and in the next minute,dreaming about my next artistic adventure .I am a paradox . I have minutes when I am afraid to go to the mailbox because I don’t want to encounter people .Yet when I do, I am guided to share and love most everyone I encounter. I genuinely love so many people .I am told that I am my name ,Joy. I know that I am a Joy. I stand on a stage and sing my heart out and hold back nothing .I am vulnerable on the stage .I love life and am excited about the future on this plane and at the same time I am so ready to go to the next one.I am an alcoholic and have other grave and emotional mental disorders.I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.I’ve been sober most of my life and have done some very insane things in sobriety. I know today that my getting sober didn’t make me sane but God’s grace has kept me here and sober.I know that alcoholics who pass with our disease whether drinking or one of the other symptoms of the disease have done the job they were sent here to do.I am so grateful to the one’s who have had the courage to share their hearts publicly and raise awareness about this cunning baffling and powerful disease we have .

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  13. “So often I want to think of sobriety as a set equation rather than a blessing”. This is the first time I’ve realized that I think the same thing! I continue to scoff at the use of “miracle” thinking to myself, ‘I’m not that bad, I’m sure I would’ve gotten it given time.’ Thank you so much for this. It is a wondrous gift we have been given.

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  14. The thing about diseases whether they be chemical or emotional is that the intense pain is invisible… nobody knows you have it or if they do nobody knows what to do about it.

    I empathize with wanting to be out of pain. I am 62. i first tried escaping the pain when I was 14. Not much has changed. The pain is still there. I await the day when the pain is gone.

    As selfish as taking ones life is it is also selfish to wish someone to remain to fulfill others’ dreams.

    Taking ones life can be viewed as cowardly or courageous depending upon your viewpoint.

    I’m pretty sure Robin knew he was loved. He needed to be rreleased from the ever present agony of the pain.

    I get it.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: Incredible | We Agnostics

  16. David

    Good words , but Robin’s demise was more due to his dementia and the symptoms of Parkinson’s that he was having …not him Falling off the wagon there was no alcohol or drugs in his system….so sad

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    • Anonymous

      Spoken by someone who clearly doesn’t understand the disease of alcoholism.

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      • Marlin Gerkins

        Anonymous,
        Please, if you’re so miserable about humanity and yourself that you have to bring everyone else to the brink of misery with you, please… just die. I mean, it is your choice, after all. Atleast Williams had the “courage” to spare the human race his continued misery. Or maybe you’re so smart that only you can feel your own pain. Now THERE’s a novel new paradigm.
        I’m fortunate in that I can drink when I want, how much I want, with whom I want…without having to go to any meetings. How is that for a sobering thought? I freely admit I don’t totally understand alcoholism, or drug addiction, or any addiction. I do know self pity when I see it, however. You make me sick…as does this article claiming to somehow know the man.

        MG

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  17. Estelle

    Thank you.

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  18. Anonymous

    Always a kick in the gut when another fellow recovering alcoholic commits suicide.

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  19. Katrina Bowser

    Our son, Garret, was 35 and I believe an alcoholic and took his life in February 2012. His marriage was failing. She left him for another guy and she filed a bogus abuse charge against him and had him thrown in jail just before Christmas 2011.
    Your article perhaps explains some of it.

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    • My heart goes out to you, Katrina – I mean it. It’s a powerful disease that destroys life in so many ways, causes so much wreckage. Take good care of yourself, and maybe give Al-Anon a try…?… as a balm for further healing. Love to you.

      Like

  20. George Boyle

    I understand everything that was said and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC O.D.A.A.T

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  21. Kelly

    Robin W’s death has been a sad part on my heart for the past year. His legacy is the dialogue it opened for me and others.
    I have a dual diagnosis, I am Alcoholic AND suffer from depression, like many in the program. I have lost people because of BOTH ailments. Either one, the other or both. I GET the daily reprieve based on the work I need to do. But I GET how it becomes to much as Robin did. I have to work at BOTH.
    I have become part of the “semi colon” movement and have the tattoo in a place to open up conversations with others, but largely to remind myself how fragile life is .

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Anonymous

    AWESOME! Thank you everybody and everyone, try not to let others take away what we work so hard for. “They” do not understand, but only stereotype the problem. We are strong…

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Maddie

    Although I think the author of this article had their intention in the right place, stating that Robin’s suicide was caused by alcoholism (while that was clearly something he struggled with) is completely speculation and based on the sole opinion of the author. The fact is while that may have been a constant struggle for Mr. Williams, he was battling something much more devistating for someone with such a huge, flamboyant personality such as his. Dementia(lewy bodies- a much more aggressive form than parkinson’s dementia ). Newly diagnosed Robin, struggling with all the demons a person can hold and being given a sentence that would surely end his ability to do the very thing that in times of darkness surely carried him through, comedy. I don’t think we will ever know what the final straw was and I think it much more complex, I don’t think we will ever completely agree on it. I believe that we all share a sense of sadness in the loss of such a light in regards to Robin, as we do every time we read or hear in the news that someone has chosen suicide as their solution or end. No reason for suicide is kore important than the other, in tge end its still a tragedy, still a tremendous loss.
    I grew up watching Robin, always a little pain behind the laughter. Never a dull moment.
    Thanks Robin! For every smile, for every ounce of happiness that you gave us all.

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    • Patroy

      No, the author was right on. Unless you have it, you aren’t going to understand it any more than I can understand someone being ok with one drink.

      Like

  24. What a righteous and presumptuous little piece of writing.

    I didn’t finish the article. Here is why.

    I am an alcoholic. I had my last drink in 1988, and have also wrangled with depression.

    I assure you that if I had psychotic hallucinations as Robin did, and was given the diagnosis of Parkinson’s or Lewy Bodies (as he was), as another smart person knowing that my frightening hallucinations and paranoia were only going to get worse,

    I would blow my fucking brains out. He at least killed himself in the gentlest manner he could think of.

    Fuck anybody judging him in any way as deficient, morally lacking, cowardly, or weak.

    I
    Would
    Have done
    The same thing he did.

    And if you wouldn’t, I don’t understand you.

    Like

  25. Laura O.

    This is my father’s story. Beautifully written and inspiring. There but for the grace of God go I.

    Like

  26. jeri

    I walked into recovery june of 99. Hit a low depression that took me into a five day black out which lead to a major Heart attack . I woke in the hospital given a second chance at life. I felt that very same pain. but a voice I have never heard spoke to me and said It’s not time: you have more to do. I didn’t get it until I heard a speaker share her story about how she was in a rowboat and heard the same voice tell her she was not done. The girl who called my parents told me after the experience I was talking about going to the water and I was not making any sense. right then and there I knew there was a power greater than me… and I live each day as if it were my last. Ass deep in recovery and surrounded by the men and women who never gave up on me I am not the same woman on that day .
    recovery in Racine,WI
    JM

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Sarah

    This was well written and poignant. I am the first person in generations of family that is not an alcoholic. Even without alcoholism in my life I still suffered from a major depressive disorder and had to claw my way out. While I don’t know that “lower power” voice as it pertains to alcoholism I do know it as it pertains to my current mental health status. Alcoholic or not depression is terrible.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Norm Boshoff

    Nice article, sensitive and well written. I am 23 years sober AND suffer from clinical depression. Trying to use the 12 steps to overcome clinical depression is like trying to use the 12 steps to overcome diabetes. Great tool, wrong application. Both alcoholism and clinical depression are PRIMARY diseases that need to be treated seperately. Medication helps keep my clinical depression from overtaking my life as it used to before I became willin to seek help.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. There are some people too gentle to live long among wolves.

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  30. Lydia N

    This story belongs in our archives, thank you. I miss Robin williams! PATCH ADAMS!

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  31. Jim S

    Robin died sober. There was no alcohol in his system. There were no drugs found during his autopsy.

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  32. kelly

    Hi i am recovering alcoholic of 3years. i also have mental disorders I’m s firm believer of aa IT WORKS IF U WORK IT. I have tendency to b a dry drunk and or untreated alcoholism meaning that my old behaviors pop up and i run on self will there’s a lot morr to keeping sober then u think when i get doing really good is when I’m trusting in god reading aa liturture and reading acceptance daily. then i think I’m doing so good i slack off and become spiritually unfit and severely depressed suicidal but there is a way out

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  33. kelly

    depressed suicidal but there is a way out the way out is trust in god and do next right thing think positive and pray my toosh off also means action meeting god halfway I’m not saying thid is what he was going through i am seeing simularitys God Didn’t want death for him suicide is selfishness stubborness of lack of working aa program w the best if our knowledge

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  34. Jim

    I’ve heard many different angles about the suicide of Robin, such a high-profile tragedy. I don’t doubt any of the things I’ve heard about illness, Family Court abuse, money grubbing exes, financial woes and more. I wish he had just turned to God instead of his addiction. May he rest in peace. I am glad to be in a recovery program that has Christ’s gospel as the higher-power, otherwise I personally cannot imagine how recovery would work.

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    • Thanks for commenting, Jim… but I think Robin did everything humanly possible to combat his conspiring illnesses – that’s sort of the thesis, here. He didn’t “turn toward” his addiction – he sought constructive answers everywhere, but tragically they were not enough to save him.

      And fortunately, no group has a monopoly on god or grace – just sayin’…

      Like

  35. the dude

    The Big Book says “We are never cured of alcoholism”. It also says, “Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic.” After my own research and experimentation, I found that I am no exception to the rule. Most of all my “slips” or “relapses” were because I never gasped the First Step with the “desperation of a drowning man”. Today I continue to be a “free man”, since January 27th, 1996. Stopping drinking was not the problem. My problem was staying stopped. Have you noticed there is more alcohol in the world today?

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Can so relate. …it truly is a cunning baffling powerful disease. … even after 13 yrs 364 days…. I am only given today….
    Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Jay

    Thank you my friend, I needed that talk. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Dan

    A life that recognizes how blessed one is, who understands that one’s freedom from the bondage of self is Divine, recognizes Truth and Honors their Maker every day in Glorifying Jesus Christ the True Divine Savior of all

    Like

  39. Old saying = First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man. 91 days free this morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Timmy Joley

    Talk to god-read your big book/go to meetings/sponsor others (ESP new comers) and call your sponsor every day , I personally guarantee you will never have to take another drink or any chemicals again. A friend of Bills.

    Like

  41. Victor J.

    I am a member of another 12 Step Society, but must say thank you for this essay. A couple of tears ago I was losing my sanity and health trying to find some sort of help, but being 9 tears (sober), there were no options for me to get help as I didn’t “qualify.” In part it was I really could not access resources for my needs, but being “advantaged” (i.e. White, middle aged, male and (very) lower middle classed) didn’t help either.
    Thank God for a 12 Step program that completely changed my live 11 years ago, and help bring me back from the edge not so long ago. I have nothing but gratitude for your program.
    A distant cousin of Bill’s.

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  42. Thank you for such a great piece. I have been sober for 34 years and I can relate to everything you had to say. I have seen so many who have believed as Robin W., and took the same action. I remember being in that same pain at 3 1/2 years sober and came very close to doing the same. But for the Grace of God during those very dark times, I am here today to share with others that yoiu can get to the other side….It sure didn’t seem like it at the time and there were times I couldn’t believe. I was blessed with a very stong support group thu the program, and they took my hand and drug me when I couldn’t stand up and walk on my own. I owe my life to the fellowship. Thank you so much for sharing a light on the reality that “alcohol is not my problem it is but a simptom of a deeper problem” Love to all in recovery…we are all in Gods grace.

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  43. Thank you I too can relate. This is powerful stuff!! Ty

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  44. Anonymous

    This is a great article very well wrote. I myself am an alcoholic with a lot of years sober. I believe that if I die today or tomorrow I will still die of alcoholism wether there is alcohol or drugs in my system is irrelevant to me the damage of years of abuse on my body and brain will catch me eventually. I to have suffered many devastating life experiences and depression as of yet I have not drank but for the grace of God go I. If you are sober and the good days out number the bad then in my book you are living a good life . Be with God and be sober

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  45. Daniel S.

    My experience has been that, as an atheist and recovering alcoholic, it’s in working the steps that I become recovered. I’m lot better, nor worse, I simply have become accustomed to the relief that steps 10, 11, and 12 provide. Service is wonderful, but it will not keep a real alcoholic sober. I’ve known many friends in my 25 years of sobriety that were immersed in service who relapsed after many years sobriety (some having just left a meeting). Some will say (and have said) that some people are actively in the steps, and still have gotten so drunk. To them I would say “Did that take a written 10th step that day, did they sit down to meditate for a period of time, and tried to carry a message to another alcoholic that day. I can’t speak for all members, but I’ve never hear of a case were that was true. I’m not claiming superiority, as I am grateful for my sobriety everyday. I don’t blame the alcoholics that do drink, and I don’t consider myself immune to drink on my own. There is a book, which contains a program of action, which if followed have proven to ensure sobriety. Problem is that the people who most need them, will be most opposed to any experience which says there can be recovery. I’m so far from perfect in this thing, but working (the steps) everyday so I can improve.

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  46. Stacy

    But for the Grace of God go I………

    Thank you for sharing!

    Like

  47. Pingback: A Small Reminder About Sobriety as a Spiritual Gift | Cheeky Street

  48. WOW! lots of good things being said here. By all means, there will be gusts of RAW WIND come along to cloud or disobey, any logical thinking. I wish to tell all and any peoples that wonder, It is BY THEGRACE of GOD only that i n-joy 31 yrs of continuous sobriety. Thanks Bill S for thr original post.

    Like

  49. Pingback: Robin W, Alcoholic | Broken to Bulletproof

  50. Anonymous

    Thank you and God bless you!!!

    Like

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